darkholme

back in the office

back in office again. i don't know why i even try to get up at 4am in the mornings to do work. I'm just too tired to do anything productive and in the end I end up not sleeping enough and not getting enough work done.

i hate my life at the moment. there are some beautiful moments though when i'm with daffy. but otherwise, it's incredibly pressurising, there's so much to do and i guess that i'm constantly stressed.

i'm not happy - i've got so much of my personal stuff to do like learn how to drive and learn more technology, but i'm bogged down by projects and sales and meaningless crap. i find no joy in my job. it's what it is to me - a job. i wonder if all jobs are like that. it's just a means to get money to do the things you enjoy. problem is you don't get enough money, and working the kind of hours that I do, you don't get to spend any quality time with that money you've earned.

i guess that's why i got the iPod when i did. i needed some sort of boost to say to myself, hey this job is getting you stuff like this. but in the end, do i really want an ipod or do i want to be happy. the ipod gives you temporary happiness but how can that help if you're miserable all the rest of the time?

i gotta go do work. didn't complete what i wanted to. need to do it fast.

posted by kelvin @ 8:07 am