darkholme

age is a state of mind

... and right now, my mind's feeling old.

Part of the reason why I'm thinking about my age is what happened on the bus earlier. No, I was not called "uncle" by a little kid. I was sitting near to these three teenagers. I assume that they were teenagers from the way they dressed, plus what they were talking about.

The three of them were discussing future jobs and what they envisioned themselves to be when they finished university. I know from their conversation that they've not been to uni yet. One of them was saying that unless you go into law, medicine, engineering or accountancy, your degree has little or no connection with what you do in terms of a job. I wanted to tell them that, even if you went into law, medicine, engineering or accountancy, you might not become a lawyer, doctor, engineer or accountant (respectively).

Anyway, this eavesdropped (is there such a word and am I actually using it correctly) conversation made me think about how old I am. Okay, I not really OLD in the actual sense of the word. I'm turning 27 next month... somehow that FEELS older. 25, 26 was ok, I felt that I was still in my twenties, but 27 feels like the magnetic pull of the 30s is getting stronger.

I'm not terribly worried about getting older, although I do have a very strong fear of dying. I'm not concerned about my health or the expectations (get a job, get married, have kids). What I am concerned about is that I'm almost 30 and I don't think that I've achieved alot.

Yes! It's one of those, Kelvin-reflects-on-his-life-and-direction moments... turn away if you must! I'm almost 27, just starting a new job. Not a driver yet. Still living in the same room that I've had since I was 12. Oh my, that's like 15 years in this room, minus the years in army and in Sydney.

I guess that I'm worried that I'll wake up when I'm 50 and realise that I've wasted my life. I wish that I was less lazy and more productive with my life. Anyway, it's kinda late already so I'm going to go to bed and get up at 6.30am tomorrow for work.

posted by kelvin @ 11:15 pm